No Fears and No Regrets

Psychologist Jeremy E. Sherman Ph.D. suggests that being indecisive in life can be a hindrance. An inability to make decisions leads to missed opportunities and potentially failure in our goals. Decisions are of course not always easy and certainly should not be rushed when important.

There are extremes when it comes to decision making with some people struggling to make choices while others plough through blindly without thinking. It is therefore important to avoid overshooting a more decisive attitude to life and blundering into bad decisions. Bad decisions lead to mistakes and could lead to feelings of failure.

Fortunately mistakes can be corrected, but feelings of failure cuts much deeper. We all make mistakes and they are part of normalcy but for some people mistakes lead to a sense of failure. They don't see mistakes as opportunities for growth, they see them as ways to clothe themselves in feelings of failure. They give up on themselves and have a foreboding attitude towards themselves as someone who won't or can't make it in life. It is an awful feeling of loss within themselves.  

Don’t Let Fear of Failure Inhibit You
One of the biggest mental blocks we face when making decisions can often be our own fear of failing. Psychologist Guy Winch Ph.D. suggests that some people are so afraid of failing that their motivation to avoid disappointment overrides their motivation to succeed. Failing can make people disappointed, angry, frustrated, regretful and sad. See also 

If you are afraid that you will fail you may shy away from important decisions and this is not a good thing. In order to let go of this fear of failing it is important to reach a new understanding of what failure is. Everyone who has achieved success in this life has encountered some aspect of the feelings of failure. It’s an unavoidable circumstance and should be viewed as a learning experience. Making a choice and failing or better understood as making a mistake is just education for the next choice you make. 

Focus on Now
When being more decisive it is important to focus strongly on what is happening right now. Some people may dwell on the past and situations which have no bearing now. As an example, some people avoid choosing to get married because they saw their parents' union fall apart; or, someone in their family has lost their business, and so they are fearful of starting their own.  The fear of someone else’s failure can sometimes affect our own decisions.

It’s not just the past that affects our decision making, sometimes an unrealistic view of the future can do so as well. Over planning something can lead to irrational assumptions regarding our decisions. 

People may shy away from making decisions because they attach unrelated consequences. As an example, someone who wants to be a doctor but is worried their workload will be so high they won't have time for a family. Focus mainly on the now, not the past and not an overly planned out future. 

Slow Down to Ease the Fear
Slow and steady wins the race. This may seem like a cliché saying based on a childish story of a tortoise and hare but it is more than that. The message is important, rushing into something can lead to more mistakes. And more mistakes can lead to a sense of failure and of course for those who fear this, it leads to indecisiveness.

Unless you are a firefighter, police officer, medical professional, or member of the armed forces your decisions will seldom be life and death. Take your time in making decisions, think them through. Ultimately, taking a step back to consider will lead you to more informed choices and less stress. 

They Are Your Decisions
A big source of anxiety for some people when it comes to being decisive is a fear of letting people down. This could be parents, friends, romantic partners, or work colleagues. It’s true that sometimes our decisions affect others and we may have to consider them.

There are, however, plenty of times in our lives where the decision is ours alone and we take in what they may recommend but the decision is ours to make along with the consequences that may follow. For instance:

• a parent might think their child should be a doctor, lawyer or some other professional. That may not be the thing that is right for the child and ultimately, he or she must live her/his life. If the child wants to be a chef or a professional athlete that is their choice.
• a person may want to make a career changing decision that may affect their family or significant partner. This should not be taken lightly and dialogue becomes necessary if the individual wants to transition smoothly with their support.  Ultimately the decision is left to the individual to make taking into account everything they have heard and what it means to others.

Do not fear others' opinions if you know the choice is right for you but always consider the impact the choice has on others and the value and good you can offer as you make those choices. 

If you want to discuss your situation regarding a shift in career or thinking about establishing a business contact me below.

Thank you for reading and as always
Stay Safe, Keep Healthy and Take Care Out There,

​Richard.

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