In the realm of leadership, it’s tempting to respond to adversities or betrayals with retribution. However, great leaders understand that revenge only perpetuates cycles of conflict and animosity, whereas pursuing harmony fosters resilience, unity, and progress. From ancient history to modern times, many leaders have opted for peace over revenge, knowing that the true power of leadership lies in creating sustainable, collaborative relationships. This mindset transforms workplaces and communities and creates a legacy of wisdom and strength that lasts beyond individual tenures. Let’s dive into the lives of several inspiring leaders who know this all too well and chose the path of peace over vengeance.

The Wisdom of Choosing Harmony Over Revenge

1. Nelson Mandela’s Path to National Reconciliation: One of the most profound examples of a leader who chose harmony over revenge is Nelson Mandela. After spending 27 years imprisoned under apartheid in South Africa, Mandela had every reason to be bitter. Yet, upon his release and eventual election as the first Black president of South Africa, he famously advocated for national reconciliation. Instead of seeking retribution against his former oppressors, he chose to unite the country by promoting forgiveness and understanding. Mandela’s decision to prioritize peace over vengeance was critical in preventing civil unrest and fostering a sense of unity in South Africa that remains impactful today.

2. Abraham Lincoln and the 'Malice Toward None' Principle: Abraham Lincoln, faced with a nation torn apart by civil war, could have directed anger toward the Confederacy upon their defeat. Instead, he embodied a spirit of conciliation, famously declaring, “With malice toward none, with charity for all.” Lincoln knew that a sustainable peace required healing rather than punishment, leading him to promote a vision of rebuilding the Union rather than holding grudges. Though his life was cut short, his actions set a precedent for a nation striving to heal its deep divides—a legacy that endures as an example of leadership rooted in compassion.

3. Mahatma Gandhi's Nonviolent Approach: Mahatma Gandhi's entire philosophy of leadership revolved around nonviolence and peace. In a time when India was under British colonial rule, and many were advocating for violent rebellion, Gandhi chose the path of peaceful resistance or Satyagraha. His commitment to nonviolence extended to his interactions with the British, who imprisoned him multiple times. Instead of seeking revenge, he focused on liberating India through peaceful means. His legacy shows how harmony and perseverance can lead to monumental change without the need for vengeance.

4. Martin Luther King Jr. and the Pursuit of Justice with Love: Martin Luther King Jr. drew inspiration from both Gandhi and his Christian faith to promote civil rights through nonviolent resistance in the United States. In the face of brutal racism, hostility, and violence, King taught that hatred could only be driven out by love. King’s leadership in the Civil Rights Movement relied on a commitment to harmony and justice rather than revenge, underscoring his famous statement, “Returning hate for hate multiplies hate, adding deeper darkness to a night already devoid of stars.” His legacy lives on as a beacon of seeking peace and understanding even in the face of profound injustice.

5. Mother Teresa and Spreading Love, Not Revenge: This incredible woman spent her life helping the poor and sick. Rather than seeking revenge against the injustices Mother Teresa saw, she poured her heart into serving those in need. Her philosophy was simple: love and compassion over anger and vengeance. She once said, “If we really want to love, we must learn how to forgive.” If anyone knew about the healing powers of love and forgiveness, it was her. Her life served as a reminder that the path to peace is paved with kindness and empathy.

6. Malala Yousafzai Stands Up for Education: And last but definitely not least, we have Malala Yousafzai. This young Pakistani activist faced an assassination attempt by the Taliban for advocating girls' education. Instead of seeking revenge on her attackers, she chose to amplify her message even louder. Malala’s courage to stand up for what she believes in has inspired millions around the globe. She once said, “I raise up my voice—not so that I can shout, but so that those without a voice can be heard.” Her choice to seek peace instead of revenge has led to strides in education for girls everywhere.


Why Harmony is the Hallmark of Great Leadership

Choosing harmony over revenge takes immense self-discipline and maturity. Leaders who seek peace understand that retribution often escalates conflict, whereas fostering understanding and forgiveness can build bridges. Harmony-focused leaders encourage collaboration, even in difficult circumstances, inspiring those around them to let go of anger and work toward shared goals. This approach fosters a culture where individuals feel safe, supported, and motivated to bring out their best.


Conclusion
Leadership rooted in harmony has the power to change the course of history, turning potential conflict into opportunities for growth and unity. Leaders like those in this article stand as a testament to the transformative potential of choosing peace over revenge. When leaders focus on harmony, they elevate those around them and foster environments where collaboration and innovation can thrive.


Call to Action
Consider how you respond to challenges in your work and relationships. Do you react with retribution, or do you look for solutions that bring people together? By choosing harmony over revenge, you have the power to lead with wisdom, inspire others, and create a legacy of resilience and unity.

Thank you for reading. Continue to be your best as you search for your true self.

Richard

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We all have the potential to become a leader, yet many fall short in developing their ability to become one or to reach beyond the status quo. There are a variety of reasons why this may be so ranging from not knowing what to do to sheer laziness in becoming the best that they can be as leader. If you want to develop your leadership abilities then the five points covered in this article may help  you to overcome areas that may be holding you back.

 
1: Become a Follower.
 
The heading of this topic may sound counterintuitive to you but consider this. There are potential leaders who view becoming a follower as something beneath them, whereas it is an essential quality for moving forward. There are few if any leaders in the world who have become one without the help and advice of other leaders. Excellent leaders have learned to be excellent followers in their development.
 
Find yourself a mentor. Follow him or her around. Watch what they do and glean the positive elements of their actions. A leader-mentor is someone who has more experience than you, someone who you look up to and want to be like. Someone who shares your values, ethics and principles.
 
A mentor will help you become focused and motivated; provide you with honest feedback; teaches you to problem solve and encourages your growth and development.
 
You need not be ashamed to follow and be inspired by someone. You will learn much more than if you walk alone. It takes a bit of humility to follow someone, but if you don’t you will never have what is needed to guide others. Following a mentor also prepares you to become a mentor of other potential leaders.

 
2. Be A Continuous Learner.
 
Make a point of nurturing a growth mindset. You can’t know everything, but you can become an expert in your field. And it is in this capacity that you will be trusted. Open your mind to not only learning the ‘hard technical skills’ in your area of expertise but also the ‘soft skills’ you will need to relate to others. Leadership is about engaging others to move forward, to follow a vision and to have others take action on a shared vision. In order to do that leaders need necessary soft skills to engage their followers.
 
3: Know your Values and Commit to them.

Great leaders believe in firm positive values. Take the necessary time to uncover your values and then live and defend them. One of the major breakdowns among leaders is that they do not follow the values they preach. This is most unfortunate because followers become jaded, skeptical and seek to remove themselves as a follower. Here are five key values of successful leaders.
 

• Integrity – leaders cultivate trust by doing what they say and being fair and consistent with others.
• Responsibility – leaders keep commitments and are accountable for them.
• Wisdom – leaders temper their knowledge with good judgement and concern for others.
• Communication – leaders are open to other points of view, listen intently and engage others in solving problems and getting things done
• Trust – leaders cultivate trust among their followers by consistently doing what is right and by walking the talk.​

 
4. Become a Public Speaker
 
One of the most stressful and difficult skills is to become a public speaker. Yet if you want to become a leader you must acquire the ability to speak in front of an audience. There is no doubt that public speaking can indeed be stressful, and even scary, but it’s a habit you have to get into. Public speaking can be learned through practice as many have witnessed, for instance:

• Rowan Atkinson, best known for his character Mr. Bean, gets nervous and uncomfortable when he has to speak in public.
• Tiger Woods who is one of the greatest technical golfers had to learn the art of public speaking in typical Tiger Woods style through consistent practice.
• Warren  Buffet, one of the world’s wealthiest philanthropists had a crippling fear of public speaking and worked hard to overcome his panic.
• Adele, well known for her vocal range and singing voice, has tremendous anxiety and even given to vomiting, before stepping before an audience.
• Sir Richard Branson the famous adventurer and billionaire and one who commands a hefty fee when speaking, yet he too gets nervous before entering the public stage.
• Mahatma Gandhi was one of the most revered public leaders but he too was terrified of public speaking.

 
 
5. Passionately Adhere to Your Vision
 
Spend the necessary time in cultivating your vision – where you would like to be. Followers follow a leader with vision. It has been said that most people like to be led but they only follow leaders who are passionate about their vision. In the process of leading with passion be yourself rather than being like someone else. Let your authenticity shine through your actions and continually act with integrity.
 
These five steps alone will not make you a leader, but if you master them you will be on your way to become one. A measure of a good leadership is the ability to influence, thus by following these five steps you will learn what it takes to influence others.
 
Thank you for reading and as always take care, be safe and become the best version of yourself.
 
Richard Fontanie
 
Resource: Become A Leader: Find the Leader Within You.
 
Type in “Leader” in the search bar on the Front Page at www.fontaniemagazine.com and you will find 94 references for leader and leadership.

In a previous post, When Leaders are Caught in the Middle of Change, I pointed out the frustrations leaders have in the middle of bridging the change gap between where they start to where they want to go. There is a lot of wasted energy among all who are involved in the process during this time. Sam Kaner called this time the Groan Zone.

Why do people, who initially appear excited about the prospect of change, baulk and often react negatively half-way through the change process.  

In part, it relates to how we shape our reality. We shape our reality with what we perceive our reality to be. Our perceptions of the future are linked to our present thinking; in other words, we agree with only those things we accept and reject those things that don't fit into our world view. We get trapped in the pathways of our mind – through time we wire our brain, so to speak, to think in the comfort zone. Sam Walter Fosse wrote a wonderful poem called the “Calf Path” which I find describes, as a metaphor, how we get trapped in the pathways of our mind. (Find it at: http://www.poemhunter.com/poem/the-calf-path/  

We have been so schooled in our thought processes, formed by our experiences, stories, readings, education, and social relationships that we become fixed in our way of thinking. Our existing thought process is our world view.  That’s why it is so hard to break out of it and want to remain with “the way things were. 

We are reluctant to let go of old ways! We want to hang on to the old paradigm we know. We want to hang on because it gives us a sense of security, a sense of familiarity – it protects our ego.  But keeping with the familiar and not letting go also keeps us from committing to the change process.

What happens when this “hanging on” occurs. Fundamentally we find ways to fight or flee change rather than embrace it. Sometimes this takes an overt form and other times a more covert form. We make excuses, point fingers, resist, oppose, attack, resort to mind games, and exhibit other forms of inappropriate behaviour; We avoid getting involved, shirk responsibility and accountability and often give into passive aggressive behaviour. On  good days we take two steps forward and then slip backward. We lose the narrative, the vision and fall back to old ways.

A second dynamic relates to what I have come to know as the “arrogance of certitude.” The arrogance of certitude is viewing ourselves as always right. When I think I’m always right I become judgmental, sometimes downright cruel, and do things without thinking of the consequences – or feelings – of the other, resulting in the breakdown in our respect and relationships with each other in the workplace. Again, our arrogance is steeped in the formulation of our world view. Once we get caught up in this thought process we start thinking from a duality perspective, "I'm right, your wrong," "We were better off before. Past is better than future." We stop thinking about the possibilities and revert to what we know and are comfortable with, because, after all, we are right.

A third dynamic in the mix relates to our lack of comfort with "ambiguity."  Ambiguity is that sense of unknowing and a feeling of disconnect with what is going on around us. Feelings of ambiguity often lead to anxiety and fear. It becomes the fear of the unknown. We know what we know for sure, we don't know what the change will ultimately bring, so rather then move forward we want to keep with either the present, or the past. We are fearful that we might lose something in the process and we are not sure what we will gain. So let’s not go there.

We come back to the beginning: to change we must first change our thinking – become aware of who we are and how we behave.  Opening ourselves to new behaviours means to change the way we think which informs the way we act; and that’s the harder and more difficult challenge. We can't change anyone, only they can change themselves. We can only give them opportunity and it is up to each individual to seize what could be, rather than what is. 

For all these reasons, and more, people naturally resist change, they fight it and find ways to undermine it - their mind doesn't want to go in a different direction, because it is schooled in the direction in which it is trained or wired to go.

Many of us  hold back, or double down in the change process, or don’t commit to it because it doesn’t fit into what we are use to – it doesn’t fit into our world view; and this is understandable as not to change is a way of keeping ourselves in tact! We protect our way of thinking, our own way of doing things, and so we keep from fully committing to the change process.

This is what happens to some at the beginning of change, but more so when they are in the middle of the change process. People are caught in wanting to go back to their comfort zone or keep their new middle comfort space. They are reluctant to progress further into the unknown.

My next post will begin to unravel what leaders can do to move out of the middle zone and continue to reach to distant end.
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Author: Richard P. Fontanie, MSW FCMC

Leaders inspire others by getting them to act in ways they wouldn't normally act. They encourage others to change, innovate, create, and to "think and do big". Inspiration comes from the Latin word meaning to "breathe into" and "to impart a truth or idea to someone".  It also has a supernatural connotation meaning that the Spirit moves or animates our lives to achieve a higher purpose. Generally workplace leaders inspire others to reach higher levels of performance so that they can be the best they can be under any circumstance. Here are six ways in which you can develop your ability to inspire others.
 
 1      Live your vision.  Leaders inspire others with their vision and values and they show what they believe by their behaviour. It is one thing to articulate a vision and identify a set of values. It is another to let your behaviours tell the story. Behaviours don't lie. Behaviours tell more about us than our words. They show that the leader "walks the talk" to use an old hackneyed phrase. When leaders live their vision and values through consistent behaviour others follow. Pick any leader of note such as Martin Luther King, Mother Theresa, Pope Francis, or Bill Gates and you will find that their dreams are played out in real time through their behaviours. Leaders inspire others by living their vision and values through example.  

 2      Encourage others. We have a saying in our business, "we have a simple business, but it isn’t easy." When we strip everything away life is simple but often it isn't easy either. Our work too may be simple but it isn’t always easy. There is an ebb and flow in who we are and what we do. Leaders inspire others to become the best that they can be no matter what the situation. Leaders encourage others in the ebb tide, where rough spots occur or when something happens that takes them off course. In these situations it doesn't matter how much knowledge leaders have, people want to know that the leader takes a personal interest in them. They want to know that their leaders care.

 3      Inspire oneself. Leaders who inspire associate themselves with other inspiring and successful leaders. They enjoy reading about inspiring people and try to emulate their behaviour. Inspiring leaders know that it takes effort to inspire. They hang inspiring posters (and change them up on a regular basis); save inspiring quotes and post them for themselves and others to read; align themselves with inspiring mentors and coaches; and work hard to build up their work environment and avoid tearing it down. Inspiring others comes from within and leaders find ways to nurture and develop their inspirational self.

 4      Tell stories. People are interested in life stories told in a compelling and clear manner. Story tellers get boring facts out by weaving facts with examples - they paint a picture letting the facts tell the story. Facts become part of the story. Someone once said, "facts tell, stories sell." Along with the story come pictures or graphs that add an explanation mark, a surprise or a call to action. Story tellers are not afraid to use parables or analogies to get their point across.  Leaders are not afraid to share their own stories about how they dealt with similar situations, not to brag or boast, but to humbly explore and inspire others to reach a higher level of performance.  Great teachers tell stories so do great leaders; they paint vivid mind pictures that others can visualize, latch on to and act with renewed confidence.

 5      Challenge people. To rise up to the top or become the best that one can be requires challenges. If we look to those who have succeeded in sports, arts and business we see that they constantly challenge themselves to reach higher levels of performance. They are not satisfied with the status quo. Leaders challenge others to improve behaviour, overcome obstacles and to rise above mediocrity. Strong leaders challenge others with empathy. They confront with care or to use a term first coined by Dr. Harris Stratyner, PhD, they use “carefrontation”.  Stratyner uses carefrontation as a route to healing additions but leaders can easily apply the concept as they challenge others to take on new behaviours.  

 6      Share Your Reading.  All leaders are wide readers. They are informed and when they read something that will help others they are willing to share what they have read with others. They willingly share a book, an article that has given them insight into an issue or just simply inspired them.  
 
Build your inspiration muscle by exemplifying your vision and values, encouraging others when they’re down, giving yourself an inspirational boost, telling vivid stories, challenging people with care, and sharing what you read with others.
                                                                                                                                                                                                            Author: Richard P. Fontanie MSW, FCMC
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